A Conversation With An Anti-Tablist

“Tables aren’t real.”

“What are you talking about? I have a table right here in my house.”

“No, you don’t. A table is only a construct.”

“Yeah, somebody made it. That doesn’t mean it’s not real.”

“No. The idea of a table is just a construct. Can you even define a table?”

“Sure, it’s an object with four legs and a flat surface that you put things on.”

“What about those things underneath it? What are those?”

“Those are chairs.”

“Don’t those have four legs and a flat surface?”

“Uh, yeah, but I sit on those. I don’t put things on them.”

“You put yourself on them.”

“So? They’re still chairs.”

“I just proved to you that they’re the same as the table and you still deny the truth. What about that thing over there?”

“That’s my couch.”

“That has four legs and a flat surface too. Do you ever put things on that?”

“Yeah.”

“Well then, if your couch can be a table then how can a table even be a valid concept? Tables aren’t real.”

“My couch isn’t a table. They aren’t the same.”

“Yes they are the same. I just showed you how they are equal. Why can’t you accept the truth? You’re obviously just a tablist.”

“A tablist?! What the hell are you talking about?”

“You believe in the concept of a table. Therefore, you are a tablist.”

“So what? There’s nothing wrong with believing in tables. Why wouldn’t I believe in something that I know is real?”

“The real question is, ‘Why would you cling to a false concept that I already showed to be untrue?’ Why can’t you just admit that there’s no difference between a table, a chair and a couch? You just believe in tables because it brings comfort to your simple mind. If you were more enlightened then you would see the truth.”

“Are you retarded? A table, a chair and a couch aren’t the same! Why are you even arguing this with me?”

“Ah, yes. Now we start with the insults. I knew it wouldn’t take long for a tablist like you to resort to such tactics. Proof that you are losing the argument.”

“What argument? You’ve come here insisting that tables aren’t real, when I know that they’re real. I can see one right there!”

“What you are seeing are the differences. Why can’t you see the similarities? Why are you so hung up on such superficiality? Does it make you feel superior?”

“I’m going to punch you in the face.”

“See? It’s just like a tablist to act irrationally and violently. That’s why I’m trying to build a better world, where we don’t see distinctions. What does it even matter if something is a table or a chair or a couch? Why do you have to put labels on things? Labeling only leads to discrimination.”

“I’m not having this stupid conversation with you anymore. ”

“Hmmph! See, you start losing the debate, then you want to end it. Typical tablist. You are all the same. You can’t handle the truth.”

The anti-tablist then goes on his blog and brags about how he pwned a tablist today.

Epic Cat Fight

In this vid, a black cat and his two crow accomplices terrorize another cat out for an afternoon stroll. It looks like this unsuspecting cat walked into the wrong neighborhood that day, a neighborhood where cat and birds have formed an unholy alliance. What follows is the one of the most epic cat street fights that you will ever witness.

Neanderthal Woman Executed In Virginia

So a woman, Teresa Lewis, was executed yesterday in Virginia by lethal injection. A lot of press has been given to this case mainly due to the fact that she was a woman. The double standard of the weeping hearts is sickening. She orchestrated the premeditated murder of her husband and step-son for just $250,000 in insurance money! I say let the wicked perish. I don’t care if it’s a man or a woman. Or in this case a Neanderthal.

A face only a caveman could love

Just look at that ugly mug. That’s what makes this story noteworthy for me. My first thought when I saw her picture was that she certainly looks like a primitive one. I then read that her IQ was only 72. My instincts were correct! This was a rallying cry for those that wanted to cancel her scheduled death. “She’s too stupid to be culpable of a double homicide!” It’s funny that liberals try to downplay the importance of IQ, except when it’s a useful tool to support their pet causes.

Anyway, when I looked at that picture, I was struck by the bone structure of her face. “What was she mixed with?”, I wondered. Then I recalled a reconstruction of a Neanderthal woman that I’d seen before.

The similarity is striking. Too bad those protesting her death didn’t also catch this. They might have had a stronger case in trying to stay the execution of a remnant of an archaic human species.

Antoine the Gay Ghetto Avenger is Climbing the Charts

You might have seen this news clip of a flamboyant Black guy going off about an intruder’s attempted rape of his sister that happened in the projects of Huntsville, Alabama. It hit the web a few weeks ago and now has become a new internet sensation.

With a face like Donkey from Shrek and a ghetto sass that’s so unintentionally hilarious that it even makes attempted rape seem comical, Antoine Dodson has found instant fame from this video.

Now the geniuses at Auto-Tune the News have taken that clip and turned into an unexpected pop hit.

It’s currently at number 28 on the iTunes pop singles charts and got all the way to number 3 on the R&B singles charts.

Bed Intruder, a summer classic soon to be bumpin out of car stereos in a city near you.